Up
Pixar Animation Studios
2009 • Rated PG
Directed by Pete Docker & Bob Peterson

There is a lot of beauty is Pixar’s latest film Up (released on DVD 11/10/09), not the least of which is the stunning animation, brilliant colors and spot-on “set design”. But the transformative power of the story lies in two primary relationships: Carl and his wife Ellie and later, Carl and young Russell. The former relationship (which technically last through only the first 11 minutes and 42 seconds of the film, but overshadows the entire plot) is truly one of the most beautiful portrayals of marriage I’ve ever seen depicted on screen.

Up opens with a shy, young Carl watching newsreel footage of a famous adventurer and meeting young Ellie (one of my favorite Pixar characters ever) who later becomes his wife. Together as children they play “adventure” and dream of one day traveling to South America and building a house overlooking Paradise Falls. Ellie even has a scrapbook she hopes to fill with mementos of their adventures together. All this, of course, is the setup for where the real magic of the film happens. The following montage may be 4 minutes and 21 seconds of the best filmmaking over the last decade. The colors are magical but grounded in reality. The music is pitch-perfect and provides emotional cues in the span of a few beats. The transitions from scene to scene (and decade to decade) simultaneously communicate continuity and the passing of time.

Depicting the entire history of their marriage—without dialogue and brilliantly portrayed through a series of scenes—you are invited to experience warmth, hope, love, loss and regret all set within the day-to-day experiences we know all to well.

Yet, somehow, it never feels mundane. It is both real and fantastical. It seems to promise the impossible but never crosses the line into unbelievable. In fact, in a movie full of unlikely adventures (flying houses and talking dogs) this grounding in reality makes you willing to believe almost anything else. Take a moment and watch this magical segment here:

Rather than providing a romantic fantasy (like so many movies today) that finding that special someone will make your life complete it portrays a relationship that says, “with you I can live a life of meaning, even if our dreams never materialize.” That’s why I titled this “The Terrible Beauty of Marrige”. There is incredible beauty in marriage, but it doesn’t come in never-ending romantic moments but rather an enduring understanding and companionship that comes from walking through dark times with someone who knows you.

My wife has been this companion for me. We’ve been married 17 years now and nearly every day has been “just another day” filled with doing dishes, parenting our kids and trying to pay the bills. And our life together has been filled with loss and pain. Both of us still act out of wounded parts of our hearts. Both of us still self-protect and provide fresh wounds to our kids and one another. There have been days where my wife has had it with me. There are days when it hurts to stay present with her. And every September we grieve the loss of our first-born son Conner. These are the “terrible” beauties.

But without these we would not experience the redemptive beauties. Only my wife knows how difficult it can be to live with me. Only my wife has experienced my failures as a husband. And only my wife can choose to stay with me when she has the option to leave. She knows me like no one else and yet continues to love me. That’s love. That’s redemptive beauty. That’s the magic and mystery of marriage.

That’s what my wife, Susan, has done for me. It hasn’t been the kind of adventure we imagined. We struggle with debt, parenting and doing the dishes. We annoy one another regularly and periodically get downright mean toward one another. But she is still with me and I’m still with her and that, like Carl later discovers in the movie, is where the adventure is found.

That’s the Gospel of Christ. You are worse than you think (and marriage will expose the worst about you) and you are more loved than you can imagine.¹ The Gospel lives in that pregnant phrase. That’s how God sees us. Without rose-colored glasses. He knows all of our junk, is fully aware of the consequences it brings and yet offers us a relationship that says, “I know, and I’m standing here with you, not ignoring your brokenness, but out of it bringing beauty. The Gospel, like marriage, reflects a terrible beauty.

~Travis Stewart

¹This phrase is borrowed from pastor Tim Keller.